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Some stories are meant to be told, so I’m not going to hold this one out on you.  This morning I found out that my dear friend and mentor, Marilyn, has gone home to be with Jesus.  We knew the time was coming soon, and for the last couple of weeks we have been praying that God would take her sooner than later, because she was ready.

So I have had a couple of weeks to prepare my heart for this.  It took all day, but the sadness is setting in now.  Since I am not there, it seems so surreal.  I think I could easily let myself stay disconnected and be glad that I’m several countries away right now.  But I don’t want to do that.  I want to celebrate the life of this amazing, Godly woman right alongside everyone else.  I want to sing songs with her family and friends and hear the laughter when stories are told of Marilyn that will make you smile so long your face hurts.

I have been waiting to share these next thoughts.  Because I know there are so many out there who are, who have been, or who will be someday disappointed with God.  There are so many emotions that come when God doesn’t do what we wanted Him to do.  Sadness, anger, frustration, pain.  Just to name a few.  I think those emotions are normal, okay, and to be expected.  There comes a time, though, when we are called to take off the clothes of mourning and step into the light of the face that brings warmth and draws you close.

The heart that presses in harder to the chest of God so as to hear His heartbeat, instead of pushing Him away or holding Him off at a distance because you are not so sure about that anymore… the heart that shouts cries and beats the breast, but then just lets Him hold you is the kind of heart that I think can be described as “a man after God’s own heart,” like David in the Bible.  Ask “why?” all you want to.  Tell Him how it made you feel.  Pour it out like a rushing waterfall if you need to.  Then let Him come nearer.  Be not offended.  Just trust and believe He is Who He said He is.

Be not offended.  Maybe it was years ago when things didn’t go the way you wanted them to go and the pain from it has torn you to pieces inside.  But you keep waking up, day after day, and have figured out how to put one step in front of the other.  Life even looks pretty normal.  Back to usual.  But your heart has your hand up, saying, “No, no, not too close.  That is far enough.  I can’t handle anymore disappointment right now.  It’s not worth the risk.”  If this is you, then let me say with great care…you are called to a better place than that.

The time has come or it will come when God will restore you and redeem you back to that place of immeasurable faith.  The place where you aren’t afraid to ask Him to do things for you again.  A time when His blessings will so fill your heart with joy that you will dance and sing with laughter at His goodness and say, “Why, Lord?  Why would you do this for me?”  And you’ll just know the answer in your heart as He says to you, “Because I Am Who I Am and I love you because you are Mine.”

Lastly, I want to share with you my last letter to Marilyn that I sent her a couple of weeks ago after the prayer vigil.  I guess I want to share it, because so many of you have joined me, joined us, in praying.  In praying with great faith.  This relationship journey that we are on with Jesus Christ is one, wild ride!  It is indescribable.  I hope that you will continue on with me.  When He calls me to pray and to trust in the authority of the Holy Spirit inside of me, I will pray.  There will be times of disappointment.  But I’m pretty sure the victories and leaps of joy when He does something only His glory can contain…those will outweigh and outlast the moments of heartbreak.

Marilyn,

I am at a loss of words.  I think because I don’t want to say good-bye.  But I want to share with you how wonderful it has been to be on this journey of my faith and to have you be such a big part of it.  I love our God and how He speaks to us and moves in our hearts.

And I love that He put the same passage of scripture on mine and Kimberly’s heart this past weekend–Daniel 3.  I talked to her and then read her blog post.   I was able to do that Beth Moore Daniel study with her while we were living in New Braunfels, before moving to Lima.  That was a special time for me, a hard time of therapy and unknowns as I was getting treatment for depression.  God put Kim and I together during that time and it was perfect.  I needed her and she was and has always been such a good friend to me.  All of His plans are perfect aren’t they?

On Saturday morning of the prayer vigil I woke up with Daniel 3 in my heart.  Verses 17 and 18 running through my head:

17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

I want to have that kind of faith.  I thought about how those three young men didn’t know the end of the story like we do.  But they said, “Our God is able to deliver us.”  And they also said, “And he will deliver us.”  Then, “But even if he doesn’t…”  God is still God and we still love Him and trust Him.

I want you to know that I believe with all my heart that God wants us to have the kind of faith that trusts in the authority we have been given by the Holy Spirit.  The authority and faith to believe and say–”Our God is able and HE WILL deliver us.  But even if He doesn’t, my love and trust in Him will not fail.”

Thank you, Marilyn.  Thank you for walking this journey of faith with me for so many years.  Thank you for being proud of me.  Thank you for praying for me and for my family, for praying with faith that pleases our God.  I will miss you so much.  But I am so happy for you that you get to be with Jesus face to face, surrounded by His light and His love.  I’m kind of jealous about it.  :)  I love you.   I’m so glad I got to hug your neck when I was there in July.  But I’ll see you again someday soon.  And when that day comes, I can’t wait to be singing with you again–glorious, unimaginable songs, praising the lover of our souls.

Thinking of you and your family whom I love so much,

Stacy

Marilyn, what you said is so true.  You’ll be smiling the next time I see you!

I was in high school–17 or 18 years old, I think.  It was summertime in June, the last week of June to be exact.  I know, because for 10 straight years I spent the last week of June at the same place every year.  Camp Bandina.  A camp on a hillside with the Medina River flowing below it.  If you are or were a kid who loves summer camp, then already you know the feeling you get in your heart when you think of memories like this.  Camp is a special place.  In fact, I didn’t even realize it, but at this very moment I am wearing a Camp Bandina shirt.  I stole it from my Dad a long time ago.  It is one from 1985.  Vintage.  And so old that my son asked me this morning, “Mommy, what are those dots on your shirt?”  Because you can’t even make out the picture or any words.  You can’t tell son, but this is a Camp Bandina shirt.  And one that I will have hard time letting go of.

For me, and my family and friends, Camp Bandina is a place where the Word of God was preached and lived out.  It is a place where friendships formed and blossomed.  Stars.  Many nights on this hill gave me a love for basking in the bigness of God.  Laughter.  I can’t think about camp and not think about skit nights and the jokes that were played on friends.  And camp is a memory of tears, too.  Sad tears and happy tears.  You can’t go there and not remember, “It Is Well With My Soul.”  This is where so many of us learned more about what life is all about and how there is so much more to it when Christ is your reason for living.  Countless children, including myself, died to themselves there and made a statement for all to see–baptized in the name of Jesus, plunged below the water of that cold river, buried with Christ and raised to new life with a new beginning, a fresh start.

The memories of Camp Bandina go on and on, but the one that I want to share the most, is of Marilyn.  This particular summer at camp, as a teenage girl surrounded by a cabin of girls dreaming about their future, we had a Bible class teacher that was no ordinary teacher.  Marilyn brought the Word of God to life for us, for me.  Every hour of every morning of every class that week I was captivated by her stories, by her life, by the way she spoke with passion.  I’ll never forget her story of the bird in her garage that God used to tell her it was time to let go.  I was drawn in by her love for her Lord and motivated to live a life with that kind of legacy.  This is Marilyn.  A lover of Christ with an incredible legacy.

Me and Marilyn on July 28th of this year,

the last day of furlough before going back to Lima.

And this is Marilyn.  A woman with a gun who is not afraid to kill a chicken snake!

June of 2009 when our family went for a visit at “Tranquility Farm.”

And this is Marilyn.  A woman so full of joy and laughter that one of her highlights of living on a farm with her husband, Chuck Jobe, is having goats that faint.

Chuck and Marilyn with Jakob and Derek.  And the goats.

I wish I had a picture or a video of this, but I don’t, so you’ll just have to use your imagination.

On this particular visit to the farm Marilyn said, “Wes, scare the goats so we can watch them faint!”

Right away Wes jumps the fence with one leap to run after the goats and we all die in hysterical laughter as the goats fall over like dominoes!

I could also tell you about the time when I was in college and I went to visit Marilyn.  That visit with her saved me from a terrible sin (having a friendship with a married man over email), because I was young, ignorant and naive.  She practically knocked me upside the head to reveal that sin in my life!  I’m so thankful that now we can laugh about that moment, because through her, God corrected me and set me straight, preventing a lot of heartache and unforeseen dangers.

And Marilyn has three children, all grown and married with children of their own.  This family has a special place in my heart.  They are some of my best friends and they are each living out their own legacies of a Godly life.  When this family gets together you can be sure of three things–

1. The best kind of home-cooked meals that make you fat,
2. Hours of laughter, and
3. Songs, songs, and more songs!

If you have had the privilege of sitting in their living room around the piano, then consider yourself blessed!

SO HERE’S THE DEAL. I live in Lima, Peru.  Thousands of miles away from here my friend and mentor, Marilyn, is suffering from cancer.  About 5 months ago she was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer.  I know that there are many out there who are losing hope or have lost hope.  I admit I have been tempted to also lose hope myself.  But the thing is, I have this God and this Holy Spirit that I am growing in intimacy with, and they keep telling me to believe and have faith.  So that’s what I’m doing.

People, this is a call for faith.  The kind of faith that believes.  Or the kind of faith that cries out like the desperate father of the boy in Mark 9, “I do believe, help me with my unbelief!”

I believe we have found ourselves in a situation like that in Mark 9.  Jesus has just come down from the mountain after having been transfigured with glory and encouraged by Moses and Elijah.  And the disciples who were left at the bottom of the mountain are caught up in the middle of an argument with some teachers of the Law about why they were not able to heal this particular boy who was tormented by an evil spirit.

14 When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. 15 As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

16 “What are you arguing with them about?” he asked.

17 A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18 Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”

19 “You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

20 So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

21 Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”

“From childhood,” he answered. 22 “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

26 The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

28 After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

29 He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to be overwhelmed with wonder as I run to Jesus.  And I am ready to stop arguing about whether or not Marilyn can be healed from cancer.  I’m ready to stop arguing with myself, with others, and with all the forces that are against us.  I am ready to be a part of a believing generation that is being transformed by their faith, because they believe that Heaven has invaded Earth!

I’m ready to be a person of prayer, a disciple of Jesus that wants more than anything to be just like my Rabbi, to have perfect intimacy with my God and His Holy Spirit.  To be a disciple who hangs on every word of Jesus and can’t get away from the four Gospels, because how can I know, really know my Jesus if I’m not hanging on His every word and action recorded in the first four books of the New Testament.  This is a call for all of you who want this, too.  This is a call for those of you who believe Jesus when he said to his disciples in John 14,

“Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.  If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. “

For those of you who believe that Jesus has been given all authority and has called you, yes you, to be his disciple and live a life as one who has intimacy with the Father, just as Jesus did.

For those of you who believe that Jesus has called you to do works like the kind of works Jesus did, and that because you have the Holy Spirit living in you, you will do even greater things than what the disciples of Jesus had seen while He was on Earth.

For those of you who believe that Jesus will do whatever you ask in his name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

For those of you who love Jesus and keep his commands and want nothing else more than to be just like your Rabbi!

Prepare yourself. Prepare your heart.  Fast.  Pray.  Spend time with the Lord.  Ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit and feel His presence within you.

One week from today, November 12th, at 9:00 PM Eastern time, I am going to be praying out loud for God to heal Marilyn, and inviting those around me who are walking this life with me right now to join me in praying out loud in faith.  Gather together and pray out loud in the power of the Holy Spirit.  For those of you that can, gather around Marilyn and lay your hands on her and pray in the power of the Holy Spirit that she be filled with Him and that she be healed of this cancer.  Pray for the glory of God to be revealed through her by the power and love of His Son, Jesus.

Spread the word.  Put it on your blog, put it on Facebook.  Tell everyone who wants to be a part of God’s Kingdom on earth.  Tell everyone who has a story about Marilyn that they can share it and encourage others with it.  You can leave your stories in the comment spaces.  Get the word out everywhere!  How exciting it is to serve a God that bridges the oceans, the continents, the States, and all of our hearts.  We are united under ONE God Who cannot be contained or explained!  This is the kind of God we serve and love!

There is just one last thing I want to say.  This is the message and the good news of Jesus Christ, evidence of God’s Kingdom on earth, and I will not be ashamed of it!

I will not be ashamed.