You know those special sections in pregnancy books that tell you all about the warning signs and symptoms for preeclampsia or other pregnancy complications? Go ahead and read those carefully instead of taking one glance at it and thinking like I did, “That won’t happen to me.” On March 13, 2006 I wrote a blog post titled Rings, Weight Gain and Bliss. I was clueless and naïve as to what was about to happen. Jakob wasn’t due until May 4. At this time this is what my body was doing–My hands had gotten so swollen that I had to have my wedding ring cut off, my headaches were getting out of control, my legs and feet were like water balloons, I had gained 60 pounds and still had a month and a half left in my pregnancy, and a couple of times I randomly saw in my vision little dancing fairies. So, why wasn’t I concerned? Well, because at my doctor visits my blood pressure wasn’t high, and my doctor did not seem the least bit concerned about any of my other symptoms even though I asked him about them. Granted, I didn’t ask him about the dancing fairies, because I didn’t recognize them for what they were, and he never asked me if I was seeing flashing lights. So, I just thought the lights were because I stood up too fast or something like that.
Wes and I had spent almost the entire pregnancy living in a hotel in Brownsville, because Wes was on a project for work that lasted six months. The good part about that is the opportunity we had for Wesley to take some incredible pregnancy pictures of me on South Padre Island.
The project was almost over, but I was too pregnant to travel anymore, so I headed back home for my doctor visits and to make some much needed preparations for a new baby at our apartment. On my fifth day back home, I woke up at three in the morning with a severe pain in my stomach region. After an hour it was getting worse and hurt so bad I could barely breathe, so it was time to head to the hospital. I was home alone. Wes was still in Brownsville, so I called our good friends, Tim and Jenny, who lived close by. They had a two month old at home, so Tim actually answered awake and surprised at my call. Tim took me to the ER, and being the amazing friend that he is, stayed there with me until my pain finally subsided hours later. The next morning my doctor finally showed up and told me that they weren’t sure what was going on, because my blood pressure was fluctuating. But they knew there was something wrong with my liver. They wanted to keep me there for a few days to monitor me and take some other tests. Then, he says that he’s leaving the next day, because he will be on vacation. He said he would come back by that day before he left. I never saw him again.
So there I am at the hospital by myself, Wes is on the first flight home, and I’m trying not to panic. The next day, Wednesday, the doctors tell us that I do in fact have preeclampsia and that it is a severe case. We found out a little later that my condition was called HELLP syndrome, which stands for Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzyme levels, and Low Platelet count. We also found out later, with a little research, that HELLP is frequently misdiagnosed as a variant of preeclampsia, and that it may in fact be a separate entity. In short, the doctors tell me that I am a ticking time bomb. Meaning I could crater at any moment with liver failure, seizures, and other things they didn’t tell me in detail. They were ready to move me to labor and delivery. With a 50/50 chance at a successful induced labor, we needed to prepare ourselves for the chance of it all ending with surgery and a c-section. I can’t describe what hearing that news felt like. I immediately just fell apart, crying. It was quite a bombshell. And the doctor (and Wes) couldn’t help but smile at me when I said, “We didn’t get to finish our birthing classes, so I don’t know how to have a baby.” She assured me that women had been having children for many years without birthing classes and that their staff of doctors and nurses would help me every step of the way.
Earlier that day we had a chance to do an ultrasound and check on baby Jakob. They estimated his weight at 5 lbs 2 oz, and said that he looked very well for being 34 weeks along. Before we knew it, though, the doctors changed their mind and decided not to induce labor quite yet. The more time Jakob had in the womb, the better off he would be. The Neonatoligist said that every day in the womb is like three days out of the womb. The goal was for me to get two different steroid shots to help speed the development of Jakob’s lungs and to prolong delivery as long as possible. In the meantime they were watching me like a hawk, taking blood samples every 8 hours, checking my blood pressure, monitoring Jakob’s heart rate, and measuring the protein found in my urine. Laying in my hospital bed I saw the “dancing fairies” again and then it occurred to me that these were the “flashing lights” one of the doctors had just asked me if I was seeing. I think that’s when it started to sink in. I was realizing the severity of my case and was getting pretty scared. We met with a Perinatologist, an OB specializing in high risk pregnancies, and she did another ultrasound. The Perinatologist said that if any one of my symptoms came back or got worse the baby would need to be delivered immediately. No one knows why or how a pregnant woman acquires preeclampsia or HELLP. But they do know that the only cure is delivery of the baby. It is as if my body was having an allergic reaction to the placenta.
On Friday afternoon we were relieved that I was able to get the second dose of steroids for Jakob’s lungs, I was resting as much as possible, and we were playing the waiting game. At about 5:30 we got a call from one of the doctors. I answered the phone and he told me that it didn’t look like I was going to get better, so they were ready to move me to labor and delivery to start the induction. This time when I heard that, I was feeling pretty relieved. However, about thirty minutes later I started feeling a little pain in my stomach again. Before long I knew for sure that I needed to let my nurse and doctors know that my liver pain was coming back. The next few hours are pretty blurry in my memory. They started the process of inducing labor, but thirty minutes into it my liver pain was continuing to get worse and I was in and out of consciousness. Finally the doctor on call came in and ordered an emergency c-section. I remember asking the epidural man if he could stick me high enough to cover my stomach region. I didn’t care if they were about to cut me open, I just wanted rest from that liver pain.
Jakob Hays Yoakum was born on March 24, 2006, a Friday night, at 11:10 PM, and weighed 5 pounds, 1.2 ounces. The first time I saw my baby boy was through a little plastic box as the doctors sewed me back together. I was only partially aware of my surroundings, since I was both medicated for the c-section and exhausted from having spent the last 5 hours experiencing excruciating pain from the hematoma on my liver that almost ruptured. I vaguely remember getting to touch him through the arm hole in his incubator, but I remember that he wasn’t crying as we looked at each other for the first time. I remember his sweet little face and big eyes that stared back at me as I touched him and said, “Hi, baby.” And then they rolled him away.
Day 1 from theyoakums on Vimeo.
The next thing I remember I was laying in a recovery room all by myself, and my arms were shaking uncontrollably–flopping on the table like fish out of water. Then Wes walked in. I was relieved to see him and to find out that the baby was okay and doing well. And I was relieved that my liver pain had subsided. Wes explained to me that the uncontrollable shake was an effect that sometimes happens with an epidural. I spent three nights in ICU, heavily medicated with magnesium to keep me from having seizures, and waiting for my blood platelet count to reach a level that was safe enough for me to leave intensive care. In the Neonatal ICU, Jakob was being well taken care of and progressing at a pretty fast pace for a baby born six weeks early. Wes was taking a lot of pictures for me and was by Jakob’s side as often as he could be. He even got to feed Jakob his first bottle. On Sunday the doctors finally took me off the magnesium, my recovery sped up, and they decided they would probably move me out of ICU the next day. I woke up very early that Monday morning, extremely emotional and needing to be with Wes. I asked my nurse to find him for me, which wasn’t hard to do, because the hospital waiting room had become his new home. Realizing that I was finally going to get to hold Jakob for the first time later that day, I was afraid that he wouldn’t know who I was. Little Jakob Hays was two and a half days old when I finally got to hold him in my arms. When I first saw him I was surprised at how small he was and couldn’t help but cry at the sight of him. It was hard to tell what a 5 pound baby looks like just from the pictures. Holding him, a flood of emotions poured over me. It was hard to believe he was mine, it was hard to believe he was here already, and it was hard to believe that God had entrusted me to the care of one so small and fragile. Looking at him, he was also so overwhelmingly beautiful, pure, and perfect. I could hardly believe the one whom God had fashioned inside of me was now in my arms, his every breath of life counted and planned by the Savior. He was absolutely precious.
Jakob spent one week in the NICU, and then was able to be released to us. From the moment word got around that I had gone to the hospital with complications, our family was blanketed in prayer. We can not thank everyone enough for that, because God did amazing things answering those prayers. The Neonatologist had warned us that premature babies often have to stay in the hospital until their actual due date. We only spent a day and a half at home without Jakob before we got to bring him home! How big is our God?! He is so good. I was also preparing for a struggle with breastfeeding a preemie. It wasn’t easy at first, but for Jakob to learn as quickly as he did, I found out soon what a blessing it was and all of the hassle of pumping for three straight weeks was worth it. By his four month doctor appointment, Jakob was no longer considered a preemie, because he was already on the charts! We have a healthy, beautiful, and happy baby boy! Jesus, we praise You for who You are and we can’t thank you enough for blessing our lives with Jakob.
